This is it

So Alex completed school in December, and now it's a full court press to find him a job. He's officially eligible to work on February 1. He's got a master's degree in global issues, 2 undergrad degrees, one in public administration and one in international relations and he has a year of work experience.

The career center at his school has not been helpful in helping him figure out what kinds of terms to search for and I'm incredibly disappointed with their performance. But, we're making do.

He made some connections in grad school, and is working with a couple of his professors to help him land somewhere, so we are hopeful.

In the end, if we can get him into a position by May 1, then he can stay here til April 1, 2011. If we can't, then he's got to leave, which means that I'll be looking to leave too.

The Prop 8 trial in California is going strong, and looks really good for us at the moment, but it will be a good 2-3 years before that gets to the Supreme Court, and it would only be after a positive ruling there before it would have an positive effect on our lives. So, we're holding our breath and hoping that a job will be coming soon.

It's a shame that the government provided rights and benefits associated with being a committed couple are being held hostage because 250 years ago the government decided to give a secular contract a religious name.

Dealing with American immigration laws is by far the most frustrating thing I have ever had to deal with in my life.

Sorry for the disjointed post, just wanted to vent a little and give a quick update.

-Andy

Love this video

This was filmed outside the court house in San Francisco before the start of the Prop 8 trial.



-Andy

Prop 8 Lawsuit Starts Monday

Since the lawsuit to overturn prop 8 will kick off on Monday, I wanted to post a couple of links of interest.

The Conservative Case for Gay Marraige

This is a Newsweek article written by Ted Olson, one of the lawyers hired to overturn Prop 8 in federal court. It lays out a high level view of the It's a good read.

A longer read comes from the New Yorker. This one also profiles Olson, but goes into more back story about the case, more of the concerns and arguments about the timing of the case. I'd recommend both articles.

A Risky Proposal

-Andy

David Mixner is my hero

Enough, No More, Enough!!

I'm not going to lie, my last post is eerily similar in tone to this article by David Mixner. There is a reason for that. I think he and I are just about on the same page from the standpoint of our willingness to put up with the bullshit. I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.

We have poured over $100,000,000 in the last two years into efforts where Americans feel it is there obligation to vote on our freedom. The entire concept is repugnant and disgusting. That we for the last three decades have been drawn into this game of 'this is politics' and fighting these ballot box horrors so that maybe by in five, ten or twenty years we will have enough victories to force our federal government to protect our freedom is simply not acceptable anymore. Imagine the good we could have done with all that money. Imagine the civil rights movement we could have built if we had the leadership that was willing to think out of the box and put it on the line.

What is amazing to me is that the more this happens, the happier I am at the prospect of our immigration issues not being resolved. I will tell you that I am a lot less upset about the notion of being exiled from this country today than I was a year ago.

-Andy

This Wallet is Now Closed

To all politicians,

I watched helplessly on Tuesday night as yet another vote was held on whether or not I deserve equal rights in this country. I watched my countrymen once again say that I am not quite human enough to deserve the same respect, dignity and rights that they enjoy.

I watched President Obama, the self-described "fierce advocate" for gay rights, very very carefully word a statement that was at best lukewarm in his support for those on the side of equality in Maine. It was so carefully worded that the state of Maine wasn't even mentioned. I watched him say that he had more important things to do on Tuesday than to watch election results. I watched as the Democratic National Committee send out an email to supporters living in Maine on Tuesday reminding them to go vote. The email didn't describe what issues Mainers should vote on, nor what positions those voters should take. The email did say that Mainers should help their fellow Democrats in New Jersey try to get Corzine re-elected. The gay issue of equality wasn't mentioned.

I spoke face to face with my Congressman who looked helpless to me while he explained it would be difficult to pass the Uniting American Families Act. I still have the letter he sent me when I wrote him to ask him to co-sponsor that bill. He claimed to support it, but refused to co-sponsor.

My senators are vehemently against the idea that I might ever deserve to be considered normal, much less have any rights, so they are already a lost cause.

I say all that to let you know that my wallet is now closed unless you earn my vote.

If you can say that you are co-sponsoring ALL of the bills listed below, do not ask for a penny, because you will not get it from me.

1. Uniting American Families Act
2. Comprehensive Immigration Reform (that includes protections for gay couples)
3. The Bill to Repeal the Defense of Marriage Act
4. The Bill to Repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell
5. Employment Non-Discrimination Act

No more will I sit back and accept your promises, your urgings to wait for equality. I'm sick of it. Stand up and get some courage. Be a fierce advocate of equal rights for all Americans. If you will do that, I will happily support you. If you will not, then don't expect my time, my money or my vote.

Mr. Doggett, Mr. Cornyn, Ms. Huthison, Mr. Obama, all of you have something to prove to me. None of you have earned my vote. None of you have earned my support. None of you have earned my money. That is the way it will stay until I hear that each of you is in clear support of the 5 bills listed above. Until that day, please look elsewhere. I will not enable your poor behavior any longer.

-Andy

-Andy

$467,562 More

$467,562 worst case. $41,196 best case. That's how much more the average gay couple can expect to pay over the course of their lives than the average straight couple.

Nearly all the extra costs that gay couples face would be erased if the federal government legalized same-sex marriage. One exception is the cost of having biological children, but we felt it was appropriate to include this given our goal of outlining every cost gay couples incur that heterosexual couples may not.

New York Times - The High Price of Being a Gay Couple

I can tell you that my family isn't the average. We've already paid far more than the best case, just in the 6 years that we've been together in this country.

But it doesn't stop at the money cost.

I haven't ready the court decision, I'm only taking the plaintiff's word for it, but a woman who was suing a hospital in Florida for not allowing her to visit her dying legal domestic partner in the hospital just had her case thrown out. Her partner died, while she stood in the next room being told that since the women weren't related, she wouldn't be allowed in. Since her partner collapsed outside their hotel room, and their power of attorney paperwork was in the hotel room, it wasn't available for her at the hospital.

Read the Langbehn-Pond family blog

And let's not forget what happens when a spouse dies. The woman in the video below wasn't allowed to make funeral arrangements for her spouse after she was killed in a flood.



And then there's my case. I make a good salary. I pay over $30k a year in taxes. My boyfriend, based on his work experience and education, would be in the $45-50k/year salary range, and in line to pay his own fair share of taxes. If we were a straight couple, he'd already be working. Since we're not, we're still wondering how much longer we can stay. IF he can find a job by April 1, we have the ability for him to stay here until April 1, 2011. If he can't, we're going to have to leave in 2010.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that you should love the gays. I'm not even going to tell you that you should be ok with the gays. I am going to ask that when given the opportunity, you choose to either favor bills that would give gays equal protection under the law or at least stop and think about the many ways that you are affecting the lives of law abiding fellow Americans every time you decide to give your support to measures that seek to keep gay people in second class citizen status.

-Andy

Traditional Marriage Values

Interesting sign (via Dan Savage)

-Andy

Marriage in Maine is getting some good ads.

I don't think much else needs to be said about this video.



-Andy

How Many Will Vote for This?

I ran across another interesting site in the last few days.

There is a group in California that is trying to get another marriage proposition on their ballot for 2010.

These guys are so worried about the institution of marriage that they want to ban divorce! How many staunch supporters of the institution of marriage suddenly be less interested when they have to vote on an aspect of marriage that could actually affect them?

More here!

I heart all of you at rescuemarriage.org!

Another Reason Marriage is Important

First, apologies for my absence recently. It has been super busy and I haven't had much time to post.

However, I ran across an article about Arizona that underscores why marriage is so important. Apparently, at some point in the past, Arizona has included benefits for the domestic partners and spouses of its employees.

Now, they've run up against a budget shortfall. Married employees continue to enjoy spousal benefits, but Arizona has given the shaft to its gay employees by revoking partner benefits...

You can read more about that here: Lambda Legal press release on Arizona Legislature

For those of you reading this who might think that calling it something else is just as good, or that gays lining up to getting our rights one at a time should be good enough, I will point you back to that link. What we take separately, or one at a time, can be taken from us separately, or one at a time, without it affecting the larger population. We remain vulnerable as long as our equality under the law continues to be ignored.

-Andy