US Laws and Us

Today has been an interesting day. I mean that in the way that it is meant in the curse, "May you have an interesting life." Maybe I've overdosed on the gay news the last few days, maybe I'm just a bit tired, but I'm feeling emotionally worn out.

I sat down tonight to write about one of the processes that Alex and I have started in our search for a new place to live, and I may yet get to it, but other issues are clouding my thoughts, so I'm going to write about those first, and then we'll see what happens.

There is a new bill in Congress that would give health benefits to registered domestic partners of federal employees, including same sex couples. Great news, right? It is if you are a registered domestic partner, or can be in your state. If you are gay and married, it is not good news, because gay married couples would not have that eligibility. Because of the Defense of Marriage Act, the federal government can not recognize a marriage between gays, and therefore can not give benefits to a gay workers legal spouse.

There is a similar problem with our situation. Alex and I have been together a long time, and we intend to stay together forever. We would have already flown off to a state where our marriage would be legal in order to tie the knot, but we can't. The federal government would see us getting married as his intention to stay in the United States. Since he's on a student visa, that intention would mean his immediate deportation. If we were a straight couple, an application for a spousal visa, after we got married, would nip that issue in the bud. Since we are not, we are being denied the right to marry even though it would be legal for us to do so.

It makes me incredibly angry to think about, and I wonder what it is in people that they are so against allowing me to be free to live my life that they must do everything they can to keep us in such a state of flux. I'm looking at you Republicans.

Today I watched a state senator in Pennsylvania say that we should be happy as gays because we're even allowed to exist. Today I read a proclamation from an Oklahoma representative that claims that gay marriage is one of the main causes of the recession. Today I heard about a Navy sailor who was killed at Camp Pendleton, apparently because he was gay. Today I saw pictures of Texas TABC agents raiding a gay bar in Fort Worth, putting one patron in a coma, and arresting 7 others on the 40th anniversary of Stonewall and it makes me wonder, do I even want the laws to change so that we can stay? Sometimes I can't answer yes to that question.

With that said, we've got a long story to tell, and I'll get back to that in my next post.

-Andy